.P3SS 



S2'°^^°^GRES 




° 014 528 288 



3 • 



U^ll: n. 



PR 5189 
.P3 S5 
1827 
Copy 1 



ZiOPSS AKP TIVBliKirSS' SDZTZOXr. 



No. XII. 



A COJMCEDir, 



IN TWO ACTS'. 



wiTa 



A POKTZt AZT OF THIS LATB XKEB,. SimKH. 



THE PIATS CATlEFtJLtT CORRECTED FROM THE PROMPT BOOKS OF THE 
PUILADELPHIA THEATRE, 

BY M LOPEZ, PROMPTEB. 



PHILADELPHM: 

PtlBtlSHED BX F. C. WE:>rTSS, AND ASH & MASOIf : P. THOMPgOX, 

WASHIJTGTON: H. W. BOOl, BALTIMORE: E. M. MURDEN, ASD L. 

OODET, NEW TORK, FOR THE PROPRIETOR, AND TO BB 

HAD OF ALL THE PRINCIPAL BOOKSELLERS IN 

THE UNITED STATES. 



PRICE TO NON-SUBSCRIBERS, FIFTT CENTS, 



At the commencement of our undertaking, we pledged ourselves 
to the public, to spare no expense to render the work worthy of 
their notice i and in presenting the fifth number to our friends and 
patrons, we trust they will allow we have redeemed our pledge. 
The engravings are executed by Longacre and Durand, from 
paintings by Neagle, taken expressly for this work, and which we 
feel a proud satisfaction in being able to pronounce equal, if not 
superior, to the portraits prefixed to Oxberry's EngUsh Drama. In 
the typographical department of the work, we have endeavoured 
to remedy those faults which were so much complained of, and 
hope to improve with every succeeding number. 

The delay which has taken place was the necessary consequence 
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TZSRMS. 



A Number will be published every four weeks, and oftener If 
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already before the public, at thirty-seven and a half cents to sub- 
scribers, and fifty cents to non-subscribers. 

Each Number to be paid for on delivery. 

A few impressions of each plate will be printed on fine paper 
'for the purpo?^ of frjiming*. 

/ 




The late Mr. Burke having introduced this excellent 
Comedv to the notice <.f the Philadelphia aud.ence, the 
proprietor feels confident he cannot better ^-'^S'' J'^ 
duty to his patrons than by prefixing h.s Ukeness to a 
piece whiC' '- received such unqualified approbation on 
every representation. 




TJHDE JL.Ai.TJE 



M^ MWMMM 



Dxa-wTL&EiLgraved-bjr JW. Steel fiom a Sfetclilrsr J.Woo-1 (, 

Zop^z SC Womyss 'JEdMoiv . 

EnUrU accordino to Jet oF Conor e.^s ^ IS ^\iay oFAprlllSZl bv F.CW^mvss oFFmrtsvlvm'^ 



tOPB-ZAWB "WEMYSS' HDITIOIT. 



COITTAIKISG THE 

MOST POPULAR PLAYS, 

t^s they are performed at the Philadelphia Theatre: 

CAREFULLY CORRECTED 
AND PUBLISHED FROM THE PROMPT BOOKS ; 
AND ACCOMPANIED WITH 

E:,ZKSX7ESSES of DI3TZX7&UI3ZI:EI> PSnrORMERS 
IN CHARACTERS, 

ENGRAVED FROM PORTRAITS EXECUTED FOR THE WORK, 
BY EMINENT ARTISTS. 



BY M, LOPEZ, PROMPTEP, 

OP THE PHILADELPHIA AND BALTIMORE THEATUES. 



FHILADELPHM: 

rHLISHED BT F. C. WETMYSS, AND ASH & MASON: P. THOMPSON, 

WASHINGTON: H. W. BOOL, BALTIMo're: E. M. ?IUai)EN, AND L. 

GODET, NEW TOUK, FOR THE PROPRIETOR, AND TO RE 

HAD OF ALL THE PRINCIPAL BOOKSELLERS IN 

THS UNITED STATES. 

1827 



Eastern District of Pennsylvania, to xcit: 

BE IT REMEMBERED, that on the third day of April, in the FiUieth year of 
the Independence of the United States of America, A. D. 1828, Mathias Lopez and 
Francis C. IFnmjss, of the said District, have deposited in this office, the title of a 
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*' Lopez anil U'emyss' Edition. Acting American Theatre, containing the most popu- 
*' lar plays, as they are perforrricd at the Philadelphia Theatre; crtrefully corrected and 
** published from the Prompt Books; and accompanied ivith likentts'ses of distinguished 
*' Peiformers, in characters, engraved from portraits executed for the xvork^ by emi' 
*♦ nent artists. By M. Lopez, Prompter, of the Philadelphia and Baltimore Theatres.'''' 

In Conformity to the Act of tlie Congress of the United States, entitled, " An Act 
for tlie Encouragement of Learning, by securing the Copies of Maps, Charts, and 
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and etching historical and other Prints,' " 

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Clerk of the Eastern Distritt of Pennsylvania. 



liOPXiz AKD vrnmirssy ebitiozi^. 



m)t Mttins ^tmvitmx STijeatrr* ^^^ 



fei 



m 



^^^^ 



IN TWO ACTS. 



c 






WITH 



A FOXITRAXT OF SHIS XiATS MS.. BtTBKS. 



THE PLATS CABEFULLT COTIIIECTEP FROM THE PROMPT BOOKS OP THT, 
PHILADELPHIA THEATRE, 

BY M. LOPEZ, PROMPTER. 



PHILJIDELPHM, 

PURLISHETl BT I". C. WEMTS^, AND ASH &, MASON : V. THOMPSON, 

WASHIKGTON : H. W. BOOL, BALTIMORE : E. M. MURDEN, AND L. 

GODEY, NEW TdRK, EOR THE PROPRIETOR, AND TO BE 

HAD OF ALL THE PRINCIPAL BOOKSELLERS IN 

THE UNITED STATES. 



PRICE TO NON'SUBSCRIBEES, FIFTT CENTS, 



\ ■■■• -^ -/ ^ 



JESPER HABDIJTG, PRINTER. 



PERSONS REPRESENTED. 



1825. 
Philadelphia. 

Mr. Jefferson. 

>Ir. Simpson, -*: 

Mr. Tfemysa. 

Mr. Bromley, " 

Mr. BimatU 

Mr. Foster, / 

Mr. Murray, 

Servant, 

.... Mrs. Wood. 

Mrs. Simpson, r» 7, 

Mrs. Barley. 

Mrs. Bromley, ,^ ^ j „ 

Mrs. Anderson, 

Mrs. Fitzallan, • r r a- 

. . . Mrs. J. Jefferson, 
Madame La Trappe, 



?§TAGE DIRECTIONS. 



By n. H is meant Rig-ht Hand. 

i. H Left Hand. 

3. E... Second Entrance. 

f' E Upper Entrance. 

at. D Middle Door. 

B. I" Door in Flat. 

n. H. D Right Hand Door. 

?-. H. D.. , Left Hand Door. 



Time ofrepresentatio}^. — 0?%€ hour and forty minutes. 



SIMPSON & CO, 



ACT I. 

Scene I. — Handsome apartment in the house of 
Simpson *^' Co. 

Bromley discovered at a table on l. h. of it writing', 

Brom. {laying down his pen') Ousjht I to pursue 
this adventure? If I proceed, the destruction of my 
wife's happiness, and my own, may — pshaw! under my 
assumed name of Captain Walsingham, what have I to 
fear? I'll finish my letter, though, like the other?, it may 
be returned, or unnoticed — {writes') *' and rely on the 
entire and eternal devotion of your adorer, Charles Wal- 
singham. — New Hummums." {Folding it) Charles 
Bromley, of Mincing-lane, merchant, partner in the 
house of Simpson & Co. and married, transformed into 
Captain Walsingham! {directing the letter) "To Mrs. 
Fitzallan, Harley Street." {seals it) There, {rises and 
comes forward) There's a fatality in this wild adven- 
ture ! Charmed by a beauty in an opera box, I dog her 
carriage, and learn that she is a Mrs. Fitzallan, widow 
of an officer lately dead, in India. Under pretext of 
arranging some business for her, in which I find she is 
concerned with the India Company, I call on this Mrs. 
Fitzallan } — am cursed coldly received by Mrs. Fitz- 



8 SIMPSON & CO. 

allan; call again, and am completely cut by Mrs. Fitz- 
allan; make my bow, and resolve to think no more of 
Mrs. Fitzallan: stroll into the exhibition, and the first 
portrait I see is that of the lovely, lovely, Mrs. Fitz- 
allan! 1 contrive to i>;et a miniature copy of the portrait, 
and conceal it by a secret slide in my pocket book. 
{pulls out the pocket-book, mid contemplates thepor- 
trait^ 'Tvvas rash; but who could behold such beauty 
and {kissing the picture.) 

Enter Fostek, l. h, 

Fos. Pray, sir, will you 

Brom. {hastily closi7ig his pocket-book) Well, Fos- 
ter, what now? what's the matter? 

Fos. Young Mr. Lovemore is in the count ing-house, 
and desires to know, sir, whether you will advance him 
the thousand pounds he spoke to you about? 

Brom. What? I advance money to enable a married 
man to supply the extravagances of a mistress! 

Fos. You know, sfr, we have consignments on his 
account, from his estates at St. Domingo, to four times 
that amount. 

Brom. That is nothing to the point, Mr. Foster, 
However, you may refer him to my partner, Mr. Simp- 
son; he may find him less scrupulous. 

[Exit FOSTHK, L. H. 

{Re-opening his pocket-book) What eyes! what a 
complexion! what expre«!sion! Many a pocket-book 
on change is crammed with riches; but where find one 
that clasps a treasure equal to this! After all, am I 
very, very much to blame ? Where is the husband 
who — My partner loves his wife dearly; but spite of 
his demure looks, and rigorous principles, even he, I'll 
answer for it, has some little indiscretions that — here 
he comes — I'll sound him, and perhaps I may make 
him a useful confident. 

Enter Simpson, l. h. 
Simp. Good news, Bromley, good news: the Bank 
has discounted every shilling of our paper. 



SIMPSON & CO. 9 

Brom. Aye, indeed! My dear Simpson, I am de- 
lighted to hear it. 

Simp. The firm of Simpson & Co. stands as high as 
any house in London, and our signature is a bank note, 
to the very Bank itself. Have not I always told you 
that our partnership would be a fortune to us? 

Brom. True, true; and our connexion in commerce 
,.s so natural; why, we had a kind of rehearsal of our 
present partnership in very early days. At school, you 
know — though Mere, to be sure, you had much the 
start of me in age, for you were in the highest form 
when I was in the lowest. 

Simp. Yes; I left doctor Thwackum's to begin my 
clerkship, just six months after you came to his aca- 
demy. 

Brom. But, though only at Thwackum's together 
for half a year, you recollect, Simpson, how I made you 
join me in all my frolics; and now, in business 

Simp, In business, I grant you, our labours and our 
profits are pretty equally divided. At school the case 
was different. I was never a frolicsome boy, and, as 
you say, considerably your elder; but, somehow or 
other, whenever you opened an account of mischief, 
our master always drew upon my shoulders for the un- 
settled balance of drubbings. 

Brom. Well, in business, at least, we are more exact, 
and if we are fortunate we may fairly boast that we de- 
'Jerve to be so. Attentive, industrious 

Simp. Always looking to the main chance. 

Brom. Domestic in our tastes. 

Simp. Economical in our habits. 

Brom. Neither of us run-abouts, nor men of in- 
trigue. 

Simp. Faithfully attached to our wives, and loving 
them solely and entirely, as they love us. 

Brom. Inhabiting the same house, in peace and har- 
mony; not the slightest altercation. 

Simp, Altercation! your wife is mildness itself; so 
confiding too, in your attachment to her. 



10 SIMPSON & C0. 

Bro'in. And your's! 

Simp. My wife? she is a treasure! but, still, for all 
that. 

Brom, For all what ? 

Simp. You know, Bromley, I have no secrets from 
you: my wife is a little — Mrs. S. is rather too suscepti- 
ble on the score of jealousy. 

Brom,. To be plain with you, I have sometimes 
fancied so: Now between ourselves, my dear fellow, 

have not you given her some cause to yes, yes, you 

have. 

Simp. What, I? never. 

Brom. Now! Ha! ha! ha! Come, come, Simpson. 

Simp, {ivith emphasis) No — now — poz 

Brofn. Now I like your making a mystery of it to 
me. Men, you know, are not remarkably severe to- 
wards each other — besides, if you had, where would be 
the great harm of it? 

Simp, A married man! and ask me where's the 
harm of it! 

Brom. You love your wife, I know, and study her 
happiness; but you would not have me believe that 
when a little adventure happens to fall in your way — 

Simp. Harkee, Mr. Bromle)^, a good husband never 
goes where little adventures are likely to fall in his 
way. 

Brom. (aside) 'Tis lucky I did not trust my secret 
to him. 

Simp. A husband like a merchant, is bound to fulfil 
his engagements. Mrs. S. in marrying me, drew upon 
me for my fidelity for lifej I accepted her draft, and 'tis 
my duty to honour it. 

Brom. But, unlike bills of exchange, the longer the 
date of one's matrimonial engagements, the more ditfi- 
cult they are to provide for. But enough ; I knew^ your 
sentiments as you are acquainted with mine, and all 
I have just now said to you 

Simp. Was intended as a hoax, perhaps ? 

Brom. Nothing more. 



SIMPSON & C©. 11 

Simp. I don't like such hoaxing. — No, no; what. I 
was before marriage, 1 still am: the sworn enemy to 
nonsense. 1 was born for the countitig-hoiise and a 
steady life; and, even in my younger days, whilst others 
were ga.iding about to Vauxhall, and play-houses, and 
running their heads into all manner of scrapes and trou- 
bles, 1 was usefully employed in working decimals and 
calculating exchanges. 

Brom. Ha! ha! ha! Perhaps I never met you on a 
certain fine summer's evening taking a sentimental ram- 
ble along with 



Simp. Andwhatthen? She had butjust come up with 
me in the fields, and was asking me the way to Isling- 
ton; — but didn't you step in, like a friend, and whisk 
her away, assuring me you did it for my good ? But 
come, let us to the counting-house, and answer our Lis- 
bon letters, 

Brom. And after that I'll treat you with a walk t© 
the West End before dinner. 

Simp, impossible, I have business at the custom- 
house, and you must stay at honie to deliver up the 
securities to Mr. Tradely, who will call this morning, 
as per appointment. Y ;u may as well t;ike them at 
once: — here they are. [^Gives papers to Brotnley.^ 

Brom. Very well: — Mr. Tradely's securities; — there 
they are, safe, till he calls. \^Puts them, into his pocket- 
hook.'] 

Simp. By the by, your treat with a w^alk to the 
West End; — is it to drag me all ihe way from Mincing- 
lane to liarley-street ? 

Brom, [alarined] What do you mean? [asidel Can 
he have discovered ? 

Simp. Do yon remember jiomevveeks ago, how you 
3cept me blowing my fingers, in the cutting east wind, 
nt the end of March, tramping up and dowai, before the 
•ron rails of a house in Harley-street? 

B7V)m. [aside] My first visit to Mrs. Fitzallan! 

Simp. "- Wait at the door, my dear Simpson, I shan't 
Ijc a second." My nose was as blue as an oran on tang's. 



12 SIMPSON k eo. 

Brom. Wei], well, I didn't detain you long. 

Simp, Long! and the second time? There was I 
fretting, and trotting backwards and forwards, looking 
up at the windows, down into the area, watching every 
movement at the street door, freezing, shivering, swear- 
ing — What the deuce have you to do in Harley-street? 

Brom. Oh! ho! — The recovery of a little debt due 
to me before we entered into partnership. 

Simp. Do you expect to lose any thing in that 
quarter ? 

Brom. No — not exactly; — but I may wait a long 
time before my demand^ are satisfied. 

Simp. Aye, I understand — *'Cail again to-morrow." 
Well, I wish you success; but if ever you intrap me 

with you to Harley-street again Ha! here comes 

your wife. 

[Bromley, r. h.; Simpson, l. h.] Enter Mrs. Brom- 
ley, L. H., who crosses over to Bromley. 

Brom. Returned so soon, my love.^ 

Mrs. Brom. I've just met with an agreeable sur- 
prise, Charles. You've often heard me Sjjeak of my 
old school friend, Marianne. 

Brom. Well? 

Mrs. Brom. The last I heard of her was that she 
was gone to India. Imagine my pleasure, when, just 
now, on going into my milliner's, there I met my dear 
Mnrianne. You may suppose, that after so long a sepa- 
ration, we had m.uch to say to each other. 

Brom. No doubt. 

Mrs. Brom. B(jt there was such a crowd at the mil- 
liner's, we had little time to talk. — I forgot even to ask 
her where she lived. 

Brom. That was unlucky; — for how are you to meet 
again, in this wide world of London ? 

Mrs. Brom. Oh! I took care of that, for I have en- 
gaged her to dine. 

Brom. That was right, my love; whatever contri- 
butes to your pleasure is agreeable to me. 



SIMPSON & CO. 13 

Mrs. Brom. You are too kind, too attentive to me^ 
Charles. 

Brom. Aye ? 

Mrs. Brom, I should be unjust were I to deny that 
I am the happiest woman in the work). 

Simp. Not so fast: one of the happiest, if you please; 
for I flatter myself that Mrs. S. is equally so. 

Mrs. Brom. By the by, you and Susan must be of 
the party. 

Simp. With great pleasure; and, come — as I am 
satisfied with our morning's business, 'gad I'll stand 
treat to a box at the Opera for the evening. 

Mrs. Brom, Hey-day, Mr. Simpson, you! 

Simp. Mrs. S. last night dropt a hint that she should 
like to go, and as gallantry is my but, come, busi- 
ness before all: let's to the counting-liouse, Bromley, 

Brom. One kiss at parting, Anna; I'll soon be with 
you again. 

Simp. Come, Bromley, come, what the deuce— 
who thinks of parting kisses when once they are mar- 
ried ? Come, business before all. 

[^Exeiint Bromley and Simpson., l. h. 

Mrs. Brom. Yes, I am, indeed, the happiest of 
wives. How few among my mariied acquaintances, 
whose peace is undisturbed by discontents and bicker- 
ings — by jealousy too often well founded — how blest 
then, am I, in the possession of a man whose thoughts 
never wander from his own fire-side. 

Enter Mrs. Simpson, r. h. 

Good morning, my dear. Why, bless me, what ails 
you ? — You seem out of spirits. 

Mrs. Simp. No, not I. it was late when you came 
home last niglit? 

Mrs. Brom. The concert w^as longer than usual. 

Mrs. Simp. Ah ! me! Vvhile you and Bromley were 
amusing yourselves at a concert, I was moping alone in 
the chimney-corner. 

B 



14 SIMPSON & CO. 

Mrs. Brom. And Mr. Simpson, was not he in the 
chimney-corner to keep you company ? 

Mrs. Simp. No, he was busy all the evening in his 
counting-house, as he said. 

Mrs. Brom. Well, this evening will make amends 
to you for the last. I expect an old friend to dinner, 
you will dine with us, and afterwards we all go to the 
Opera. It is to your good little man we are indebted 
for this treat. 

Mrs. Simp. Ah! my good little man is very obliging. 

Mrs. Brom, Now, really, you ought to be more 
thankful to him, considering that he himself is not fond 
of public amusements. 

Mrs. Simp. So he says, and I suppose I must believe 
]^iiYi — yet he often goes out, very often. 

Mrs. Brom.. Do you know, my love, I sometimes 
think you are jealous? 

Mrs. Simp. No, I am not, nor do I believe I have 
any cause to be so; yet I wish my husband were less 
"ond of the counting-house, and more assiduous in his 
. Uentions to me; — in short, that he would follow the 
example of yours. 

Mrs. Brom. Consider that men's characters differ; 
that Mr. Bromley is, by some years, a younger man 
than 

Mrs. Simp. I am aware of that, but 

Mrs. Brom. But! Surely you delight in tormenting 
yourself. 

Mrs. Simp. I am not jealous, but when I look about 
among our neighbours, men who all adore their wives — 
ah! my dear! Some through vanity, others from mere 
inconstancy of character — Why, there's our next-door 
neighbour, Mr. Honeymoon, who loves his wife to dis- 
traction, yet was not he seen the other day in a Tilbury 
with an Opera Dancer ? And as for Mr. Ledger, over 
the way, who doats upon Mrs. L. — if what the world 
says be true! 

Mrs. Brom. But be assured that Mr. Simpson is 
none of these. 



SIMPSON & CO. 15 

Mrs. Simp. I hope so; but those men, those men, 
there's no knowing them,beHeve me. 

Enter a Servant, l. h. 

Servant. A French lady, calling; herself Madame 
La Trappe, desires to speak with you, ma'am. 

Mrs. Brom. With me ? I know no such person. 
But request her to walk in. 

Servant ushers in Madame La Trappe, l. h. who 
has a small, flat, pink lace-box in her hand. 

Mad. L. Miledi, I have the honneur to salute you. 
I will to speak wiz Miledi Bromley. 

Mrs.Bro7n. If you mean Mistress Bromley, madam, 
I am the person. 

Mad. L. Mistress, I am your servant— Madame La 
Trappe, from Paris. \_Madarne here, with a familiar 
air, draws the table to the front of the stage, for the 
purpose of displaying her merchandise^ looking cau- 
tiously about.'] I sell de littel contraband. 1 smuggle 
de littel marchandise from Paris. I am recommend to 
you from Miledi Ledger, over de way. I have dead- 
vantage to sell to her many little ting wat I smuggle, 
and I sail be proud to take de advanta^ije of you. 

Mrs. Brom, Pray, ma'am, don't give yourself the 
trouble 

Mad. Z. Trouble; mon dieii, mon dieu, is no 
trouble for so amiable ledi — [turning and curtseying 
to Mrs. Simpson] for so amiable two leddy — here some 
lace which was make for Madame La Duchesse; — mon 
dieu, I not remember myself — here is forty yard, I sell 
for two guinea. 

Mrs. Simp. Forty yards for two guineas! 

Mad, L, For two guinea, one yard. 

Mrs. Simp. Two guineas a yard! that's extremely 
dear. 

Mad. L. 0, madame! — mais miadame is so amiable, 
I sell it for one guinea. 



16 SIMPSON k CO. 

Mrs. Brom. But this is not one of my amiable morn- 
ings. — Really, ma'am, we cannot buy any thing to-day. 

Mad. L. Mais, madame, c^est egal, you sail not 
buy, but I have much pleasure to make you see. — 
Here is de veil, it is pretty as one angel. Ha! ha! ha! 
ha! I tell you. It was a sentiment one great ynilord 
buy for two hundred guinea for Mam'zelle Pirouette, 
of de Grand Opera. Ha! ha! ha! Dat poor milord! 
he give it her to day ; to-morrow she sell it to me, and 
yesterday I sail sell it to every body else. 

Mrs. Brom. Once more, ma'am, I must beg you will 
give yourself no further trouble. 

Mad. L. [tvhile m,aking tip her parcels'] Dat is 
veil, madame; I come to-day, because I have to receive 
fifty pound in de bureau de counting-house down de 
stair. 

Mrs. Simp. To receive fifty pounds! 

Mad. L. Oui, madame, one litlel acceptation of 
Monsieur Simmson; I receive it of one very pretty 
lady, beautiful, who buy of me some lace — Madame, 
Madame — I forget her name, but she live in rue — 
Harley-street. 

Mrs. Simp, [crosses to Mrs. Bromley.] A lady ia 
Harley-street paying for lace with an acceptance of my 
husband's! 

Mad, L. You know de gentleman wat live in de 
counting-house? 

Mrs. Brom. Yes, we 

Mrs, Simp, {interrupting her] No, ma'am, no. Do 
you ? {aside to Mrs. Bromley] Let her speak, my 
dear, let her speak. 

Mad. L. I know him — dat is, I only know him from 
to see him. 

.Mrs. Simp, Aye, you saw him at the lady's house? 

Mad. L. 0, no, madame, I will not say so, because 
it will not be true; beside, if I did see him, I am too 
discreet — O^monDieic! monDieii! But how I know 
him, it is so, ha! ha! ha! ha! — It make me laugh when 
I link {crosses into the centre] Two time I see 



SIMPSON & CO. 17 

him wait at de door, he walk up and be walk down, 
backward and forward; and he stamp, and he swear, 
and he look in great rage, like he was jealous, and he 
look at de window and de door [addressing Mrs. 
Bromley : then turniiig rapidly to Mrs. Simpson, 
who is in an agitation of jealousy and anger'] Aha! 
YOU understand, Madame! 

Mrs, Simp. Go on, ma'am; pray, go on. 

Mad, L. De first time I make no attention to him, 
but when I see him wash too time before de door, I 
link — ah, ha! Monsieur! Yet you know, madame, dat 
was only suspect, but when I come to-day touch my 
fifty pounds — Ha! ha! ha! ha! it is droll; I see de gen- 
leman w^hat I see walk about before de house of de 
pretty lady. 

Mrs. Simp, Are you certain, the gentleman you have 
just now seen is the same ? 

Mad, L. 0, madame, wiz his littel sanctify look — 
Ha! ha! ha! ha! 

Mrs, Brom. And what does it signify w^hether it be 
he or not ? 

Mad. L. Miledi,! beg pardon to derange you; when 
you sail want de lace, de glove, de rouge, &c. I sail sell 
you for very littel gain, and you sail not forget Madame 
La Trappe. [curtseys'] Miledi, I have d'honneur to 
salute you, I am your very respectable servant, indeed. 
[Mrs. Bromley follows her to the door] Mon Dieu, 
mon Dieu, mon Dieu, madame, do not give yourself de 
pain. I sail call again last week wiz some beautiful 
dress, as vat you see— and I call tell you more vat please 
you about the other gentilhomme, in the bureau down 
stairs, and perhaps comme j'espere anoder little ac- 
ceptation for fifty pounds de lady will give me for what 
she is going to buy wiz it — sans fag on, sans adieu — 
jusqu'au revoir. [Exit, l. h> 

Mrs. Simp. Well, my dear, what say you to this.? 

Mrs, Brorn^ Oh, the idle talk of a chattering French 
dealer in smuggled goods. 

b2 



18 SIMPSON & CO. 

Mrs. Simp. Idle talk! Then, how comes it that this 
pretty lady pays for lace with my husband's acceptance? 

Mrs. Brom, The acceptances of the house are nego- 
ciated like bank-notes, and, passing from hand to hand, 
one may have fallen into the possession of the lady in 
Harley-street. Upon the same grounds I might as rea- 
sonably suspect Bromley. 

Mrs. Simp. Bromley, indeed! no, no. — Besides it was 
not Bromley she recognised in the counting-house. 
Bromley wasn't **de little sober gentle homme" she 
twice saw watching the house in a jealous fury. And 
isn't the gentleman '* with a little sanctify look," as she 
calls it, the exact description of my husband ? She 
has said quite enough to satisfy me. 

Mrs. Brom, Be calm, my dear, all this will be satis- 
factorily explained to you, and you will be the first to 
laugh at your suspicions. For the present keep what 
you have heard a secret from every body, and above 
all, from your husband, [aside] The hypocritical villain! 

Mrs, Simp. Well, I'll endeavour, by concealing what 
I know, to learn more. Nor do you, on any account, 
mention it to Bromley. 

Mrs, Brom, Be assured, I will not. 

Mrs, Simp. The monster! if he be guilty, I promise 
you, that, before two days has passed over his head, he 
shall — the cruel monster! I could almost cry with vexa- 
tion, [bursts into tears — walks up the stage, and 
comes down again, l. h. of Airs. Bromley when Simp- 
son is on.'] 

Mrs. Brom. [aside] Poor Mrs. Simpson! She is really 
to be pitied, poor thing! 

Enter Simpson, {gaily) i- h. 

Simp. So, here you are, Susan, my dear. Business 
is over for the day, and now I am at your disposal. 
•Gad, I believe I must begin to copy Bromley, and run 
©ut of the counting-house every half hour to visit my 
wife. 

Mrs. Simp, {dryly) Indeed, sir! Upon my word — 
I never before saw you so gallant. 



SIMPSON k CO. 19 

Simp. True, my duck, true; I mean to make amends. 

Mrs, Si?np, To be plain with you, sir, a little change 
in your conduct would be very desirable. 

Mrs. Brorn. {in an under voice, and as if anxious 
to prevent a quarrel) My love 

Simp. Well, from this time forward you shall find 
me quite another thing ; every leisure moment I have 
shall be yours. Fll act the lover rather than the hus- 
band. I'll be a downright Romeo, ha! ha! ha! 

Mrs, Simp. Your determination to reform is rather 
sudden, sir. 

Simp. Don't throw cold water over me, my darling; 
don't you see I'm gay, I'm joyous. On making up my 
accounts of happiness, I find a large balance of content 
in my favour, business goes on swimmingly; I've a wife 
whom I love, and — in short all my little arrangements 
are mighty comfortable. 

Mrs. Simp, {aside to Mrs. B.) His little arrange- 
ments! I congratulate you sincerely on your comfort- 
able little arrangements, Mr. Simpson. 

Simp. Mr. Simpson! and sir! this is very strange! 
what the deuce is the meaning of all this coldness, and 
formality? 

Mrs. Simp. Ask that of yourself, sir: look into your 
heart, and you will there discover the cause. 

Mrs. B. {checking her.) 

Simp. Look into my heart? I may look into it for 
a month, and the chief article I shall find there will be 
a large stock in hand of love for my Susy Pusey. 

Mrs, Simp, {aside') The perfidious wretch! 

Simp. Something is the matter, that's certain; we 
parted good friends an hour ago: what has happened 
to put you out of humour, since? {she turns from him, 
and goes a little up iri a huff) Mrs. Bromley, can you 
explain? What crotchet has my wife got into her head 
now? 

Mrs. Brom. {coldly) 'Tis nothing, sir, nothing — 
^twill pass away I hope, {fo Mrs. Simpson, who comes 
forward) 



20 SIMPSON &: CO. 

Simp, A word, Mrs. Simpson, if you please. You 
have the good luck to be married to a plain man, who — 

Mrs. Simp. (Jur?iing quickly upon him) Well, 
sir, I know I am married to a plain man, and what 
then? 

Simp. Why then, madam, he loves you honestly 
and sincerely, — he does his little utmost, madam, to 
make you happy, and — and — zounds, madam, what 
would you have more? 

Mrs. Simp, (aside) Who would have thought the 
traitor could carry it off so well. 

Simp. Come, Susan, give me your hand, and let's 
have an end of this; and till you have recovered your 
good temper, you had better retire to your own room. 

{^Eccetcnt Simpson and Mrs. Simpson, r. h., she re- 
luctantly giving him her hand. 

Mrs, Brom. Who would have suspected him? Hea- 
vens! — Should the man corrupt my Charles! Nothing 
so dangerous for a husband as the society of persons of 
Mr. Simpson's character. Here he comes. 

Enter Bromley, l. h. 

Well, Charles, you know what is going forward. 

Brom* No, love, what? 

Mrs. Brom. Poh! poh! you know it as well as I do. 

Brom. Upon my honour I cannot even guess what 
you allude to. 

Mrs. Brom. 'Tis all discovered! 

Brom. [alarmed'] Discovered! — Does she suspect — 

Mrs. Brom. About Simpson, you know. 

Brom. Simpson! 

Mrs. Brom. His poor wife knows all about it. 

Brom* About what, my love? 

Mrs. Brom. His intrigues. 

Brom. His intrigues! Simpson's intrigues? poh! 
impossible, llaughing.] 

Mrs. Brom. Nay, 'tis useless, now, to pretend igno- 
rance; we have just learnt what you might have known 
long ago. 



SIMPSON & CO. 21 

Bronx. I have known ! what have I known ? 

Mrs. Brom. That he has a misti*ess. 

Brom. What, Simpson ! The philosopher, the sober, 
steady — ha! ha! ha! that's excellent ! Come, tell me 
all about it, my love, tell me all about it. 

Mrs. Brom. 0, my dear Charles, Pm delighted, I 
perceive by your manner, that you know nothing of it. 
I was fearful that you were in his confidence, and, to 
say the truth, that would have made me uneasy. 

Brom. I in his confidence! No, no, he knows me 
too well; I should have lectured him roundly had he 
hinted — [asidel 'Gad I was afraid I had been found 
out m5^self. 

Mrs. Brom. Only imagine — a French dealer in smug^ 
gled lace — a Madame La Trappe who had just been 
here, not knowing Susan, related to us — but what am 
I doing? Simpson, as yet, knows nothing of the dis- 
covery we have made, and I have promised Susan to 
keep the secret till 

Brom. Well, but you may tell me, Anna; — I long to 
hear all the particulars — trust me — I'm dumb, you 
know. 

Mrs. Brom. No, no, no, and I am to blame for having 
mentioned it to you at all. 

Broin. Who would ever have thought this! And 
Simpson of all men in the world. 

Mrs. Brom. Really — ha! ha! ha! — really, of the two 
partners, one would rather have suspected you than 
him. 

Brom. Ah! nothing is so little to be trusted in as ap- 
pearances. 

Mrs. Brom, And now, Charles, my love, I've a fa- 
vour to ask of you. Mr. Simpson, no doubt, is a very 
honourable man in business, very correct in trade; but 
you are a younger man than he, and I seriously entreat 
you not to go out too frequently with him, there's no 
knowing how he may mislead you — it may be catching. 

Brom. You have nothing to fear on that score — I 
know him now. 



22 SIMPSON & CO. 

Mrs. Brom. There's a good boy. Now Pll just go 
to poor Susan, and do what I can to comfort her. 

Brom. Do, love; but don't remain long away from 
me. 

Mrs. Brom. No, dear, I'll soon return. Ha! what 
a happy woman am I. \^Exit Mrs. Bromley^ r. h. 

Brora. So, so, Mr. Simpson, you have your little 
frolics abroad as well as another, I find. The hypo- 
critical cur with his long face and crabbed morality this 
morning, when I but merely hinted at the possibility 
of — but, really, this is too bad! an avowed mistress! 
My case is very diiferent: I regard my wife sincerely. 
So that should I even form a little attachment with 
Mrs. Fitzallan, there is no danger of its disturbing my 
domestic peace. Besides, as she knows me only as 
Captain Walsingham, and — oh, hang it, I'm not so in- 
discreet as my partner. Ha! here he comes, the rogue. 
I possess his secret, he is ignorant of mine, so I'll make 
the best of my advantage, and torment his little sly 
soul out. 

Enter Simpson, r. h. 

Simji. There she sits, mumping and sulking, speak- 
ing half words, and — Ah! Bromley — there's my duck, 
in the temper of a hyena, and I'll just ask you why? 

Brom. You needn't ask me ! — you know well enough. 

Simp. I know! I'll be bound she herself does not 
know; but woman's whims 

Brom. Hark ye, my dear fellow: I am your friend; 
you know I am; as you would be mine, under similar 
circumstances. I have promised my wife to say no- 
thing to you about the matter, but let me put you on 
your guard, [looks cautiously around, and then 
V)hispers'] It is a curst awkward business — it is all dis- 
covered. 

Simp. Discovered ! What's discovered ? Who has 
discovered ? What's the discovery ? 

Brom. Your wife, poor thing — she knows all about it. 

Simp, Does she ? 



SIMPSON & CO. 23 

JBrom. Yes, she does; — and she has told mine. 

Simp, And, pray, what has she told her; — and what 
do they both know? 

Brom. That confounded Madame La Trappe! — Why 
didn't you biibe her to hold her tongue? — She has been 
here and blabbed the whole affair. 

Simp. And who the devil is Ma-Iame La Trappe ? 

Brom. Why, the French smuijgler, you know. 

Simp. Curse me if I know any smuggler — French 
or English. Is every body out of their senses to-day? 

Brom. No, sir, no, we are all m our senses. But 
Madame La Trappe, w^hom you affect not to know, 
yet who knows you perfectly well, has exposed all your 
peccadilloes. In short, she has divulged to your wife, 
that, in a certain sly coriier you understand. 

Simp. No, I don't understand. What do you mean 
by a sly corner? 

Brom> W'^hy, not to mince the matter, you keep a 
girl. 

Simp, I keep a girl! — Let me tell you, Mr. Brom- 
ley, this is a bad joke, a damn'd bad joke, and I don't 
allow of josting on such a subject. 

Brom. Oh, no, to be sure; — it was but this morning 
you said to me, with that puritanical face of yours — 
'^My marriage promise is as sacred as my acceptance." 

Simp. So it is, sir. 

Brora. Egad, then, if this is your way of honouring 
3'our conjugal acceptances, you'll soon lose your credit 
in the bank of Hymen. 

Simp. Plague upon you and Hymen, and Madame 
La Trappe, and the whole firm of you! 

Brom. Nay, if you are angry, I have no more to say. 
But, now, coolly, the best of us may go astray, and if 
you can't help being such a terrible Turk after the wo- 
men 

Simp. A Turk ! I, a Turk ! 

Brom. Aye, 'tis constitutional with you, I suppose: — 
why, then, face it out to your wife, and swear you're 
innocent; but denying the fact to me— man to man — 
poh ! 'tis ridiculous. 



24 SIMPSON & CO. 

Simp. Mr. Bromley, for the last time, T beg you'll 
drojj the subject; I am not to be made a butt for your 
ribaltiry. [drosses to l. h. 

Brom. I'm done: I have acquitted mysf-lf of a task 
of friendship, and have but one word to add — you are 
watched, dogged, and surrounded with spies; but since 
you wont let me help you out of the scrape — go — I 
abandon you to your unhappy fate. 

Enter Foster, l. h. 

Fos. A letter, sir; the bearer says it is of the greatest 
importance. 

Simp, [opening if] Ha! from our bankers. \reads'\ 
" Private. We have strong reason to believe that the 
house of Snakeley & Co. which is indebted to yours 
upwards of eight thou>and pounds, is on the point of 
stopping payment.'^ — So here's wherewithal to put an 
end to your jesting. 

Brom. Unlooked-for disaster! What's to be done? — 
Three thousand, money lent. 

Simp. We wanted but this to complete the pleasure 
©f the morning. 

Brom. [in the greatest agitation] Go to them, Simp- 
son — no — I'll go myself — Foster, send for a coach — 
[crosses to l. h.] or, stop, it is but a step, I shall go 
faster a-foot — be calm, my dear fellow, be calm — Fos- 
ter, make out a statement of their — no, rather [taking 
Simpson'' s hand] leave it to me, I'll talk to them — I'll 
see what's to be done with them — I'll return instantly. 

[going, L. H. 

Simp, [calling after hi/7i] Hold ! hold ! the securi- 
ties I gave you, and which iVIr. Tradely is to call for. 

Brom. Aye, true, the securities — at such a moment 
as this, I hardly — what the devil have I done with 
them ? 

Simp. You put them in your pocket. 

Brom. Did I ? I — I'm so flustered — [feeling in his 
pockets'] there, take book and all — Oh, here they are; 



SIMPSON & CO. 25 

you'll find them in this, and — [^ives Simpson the 
pocket-booJe] this is a dreadful blow, but Pll see what 
can be done. Come with me, Foster, come. 
[Exit Bromley^ in the greatest agitation, followed 
by Foster, l. h. ] 
Simp. A charming morning, indeed! a quarrel with 
my wife about nothing, and a failure in business to the 
amount of eight thousand pounds: Oh, 1 begin to per- 
ceive, that in matrimonial, as well as in mercantile, 
speculations, when one comes to make out the account 
of profit, a plaguy deal must be set down to per contra 
creditor. [Exit k. h. 



>:nd or ACT i 



^6 SIMPSON & CO. 



ACT II. 

Scene continues. 

Enter Simpson, r. h. 

Simp. Thanks to the intercession of Mrs. Bromley, 
I am friends with my wife: she has pardoned me, as 
she is pleased to express it, though Pm as innocent as 
a new-born babe. This was our first quarrel, and pray 
heavens it may be the last; for, from this little speci- 
men, I am certain that when a man's better half is dis- 
contented — t'other half has a damnable time of it. 

Enter Mrs. Bromley, very gravely, r. h. 

My dear Mrs. Bromley, how much am I obliged to 
you: but for you I had been a lost man. 

Mrs. Brom. Mr. Simpson, I am glad I find you alone. 
I desire a little private conversation with you. 

Simp. With me ? 

Mrs. Brom. Pray, look whether anyone is within 
hearing, close the door, [Simpson looks surprised at 
Mrs. Bromley'' s peremptory manner, but goes to l. h. 
door., looks out, and closes ?7] Now, hand me a chair. 

Simp, [placing the chairs'] What is all this to lead 
to! [aside.'] 

Mrs. Brom. {after a short pause, and very seriously] 

Mr. Simpson you know my regard for your wife; 

you know I consider Susan and you as our best friends, 
and it is natural I should take a deep interest in all that 
concerns you. 

Simp. You're a kind soul; if it hadn't been for your 
interference just now 

Mrs. Brom. Well, well, it has had its effect; and if 
you are not too far gone in your wickedness, [Simpson 
starts] I would prevent the recurrence of the unhappy 

disagreement your misconduct has occasioned 

Simp, My misconduct! it is an invention, a libel, a 
calumny, and I never in my life 



SIMPSON & CO. £r 

Mrs, Brom. I had prepared myself for all you would 
<^ay, Mr. Simpson, but listen to me as your friend: the 
past will be forgotten, but for the future — pray, jjray, 
Mr. Simpson, let the scenes of this day serve you as a 
warning; and do not you, either by bad counsel, or 
pernicious example, corrupt my poor Charles. 

Simp, I corrupt him ! I ! — don't drive me stark 
staring mad. [staris up in agitation.'] 

Enter Mrs. Simpson, r. h. 

Mys. Simp, \endeavouring to suppress her passign'] 
Very pretty — sweetly pretty, indeed — I congratulate 
vou — I — I admire your taste, Mr. Simpson. 

Simp. My taste, in what? 

Mrs. Simp. She is very handsome, I must allow. It 
would be diiFicult to make a better choice. 

Simp. Again! — the same eternal, infernal subject! 
{aside, and as if startled by a sudden thoiighf] Lord 
help me ! Is it possible I could have gone astray with- 
out knowing it? 

Mrs. Simp. Twenty, or two and twenty at the ut- 
most; blue eyes, ruby lips, complexion like a rose ■ 

Simp, [unable any longer to suppress his anger'] 
Madam, what is your reason for all this ? Am I to be 
made the laughing-stock of the whole house ? During 
this entire day, have I been worried by one or the other. 
Can there be any thing like appearances against me ? 
Let me see, on Tuesday I supped with my old aunt, 
Wed ncsday— 

Mrs, Simp. Don't be at the trouble of inventing ex- 
cuses. 

Simp. Not, I madam; I shan't condescend to justify 
myself: — flesh and blood can bear this no longer. Do 
what you please, say what you please, call me what you 
will: — and since you are determined to be jealous, hang 
me if I hav'n't a great mind to take the trouble of giving 
you cause, Mrs. Simpson ! 

[crosses during the speech, and exit, r. h. 

Mrs. Brom. [aside] His manner convicts him. 



£8 SLMPSON & CO. 

Mrs. Simp. 'Tis the way with them all: when they 
have nothing to say in their defence, they assume the 
airs of the injured party. 

Mrs. Brom. But, my dear, what's the meaning of 
this altercation ? 

Mrs. Simp. The profligate! Imagine, that just now 
I saw his red morocco pocket-book lying on his writing- 
table, I know not what impulse prompted me to open 
it, but finding nothing in it except papers of business, 
securities, I believe, I was going to replace it, when I 
perceived a spring in the corner; I prest upon it, re- 
moved a secret slide, and there, to my horror, dis- 
covered 

Mrs. Brom, I^etters ? 

Mrs. Simp, Worse ! the creature's portrait. 

Mrs. Brom. Abominable! [aside\ Charles shall 
positively dissolve partnership! 

Mrs. Si?np. She is handsome enough, but so much 
the worse. And he! To hear him, one would think 
his whole soul is wrapt up in me; but I know him now. 
I have found him out at last, the perfidious monster! 

Mrs. Brom. You have done well to conceal from 
him your discovery. 

Mrs. Simp. 0, my dear, had I mentioned it to him, 
he would have sworn it was the portrait of some six- 
teenth cousin in Yorkshire, or a lady to whom he paid 
his addresses in his youth. 

Mrs* Brom. No doubt of it. 

Mrs. Simp, But I'll confound him yet. I replaced 
the book just where he left it. But their letters — their 
letters! No doubt, the dear souls, occasionally write to 
each other. I'll contrive to obtain possession of some 
of their tender epistles, and we shall then hear what 
the wretch will have to say for himself. 

Mrs, Brom, Susan, my love, instead of anger and 
reproaches, the common error of offended wives, en- 
deavour to reform him by kind and gentle remon- 
strances. Except in hearts utterly depraved, these 
wild attachments are seldom of long duration when op- 
posed by the disinterested affection of a wife. 



SIMPSON & CO; 29 

Mrs, Simp, True, true, I'll 1 know not what Pll 

do. But, here comes Mr. Bromley. Ah! Anna, you 
are a happy woman ! Let me quit you, my love, for 
the very sight of a faithful husband renders my monster 
more odious to me. [^Exit, r. h. 

Mrs. Brom. Poor thing! my heart bleeds for her. 

Enter Bromley, gaily, l. h. 

Brom. [^speaking as he enters'] Where is my part- 
ner? I have recovered the whole of our debt, and now — - 
where is Simpson ? 

Mrs. Brom. 0, Charles, don't name him. Did you 
but know what has passed during your absence! 

Brom. What, more evidence against the gay de- 
ceiver! 

Mrs. Brom. The wretch! But, I'm glad you are re- 
turned, for, though he does not deserve your interces- 
sion, you must, for his wife's sake, endeavour to restore 
liarmony between them. 

Brom. Me, my love! this is a very delicate affair; 
and for me to interfere 

Mrs. Brom. You are, in all respects, the properest 
person. Besides, in those cases, example goes a great 
way; and, by holding up to him your own excellent 
conduct as a 

Brom. Confessed, true; but my conduct; that is, it 
would appear like vanity in me to — besides, in a word, 
my love, what would you have me say to him ? 

Mrs. Brom. Say to him, Mr. Bromley then do 

you encourage him in his wicked doings ? 

Brom. What, I! laside] I shall betray myself. 
\ioith affected energy] I encourage him! 'Tis in« 
famous! 'tis abominable! I'll read him such a lecture, 
as shall make him sink into the earth; I'll overwhelm 
him with 

Mrs. Brom. Do with him as you please, love; do 
not spare him, for we now have the most positive proof 
of his having a mistress. 

c 2 



30 SIMPSON & CO. 

Brora, [eagerly'] Is she pretty ? [checks himself .\ 

Mrs, Brom. Blue eyes, ruby lips, complexion like 
a rose 

Brom. [aside^ Exactly like Mrs. Fitzallan. 

Mrs. Brom. But, were she an angel, her beauty is 
no apology for him. 

Brom. Certainly not, certainly not. What business 
has the husband of one of the prettiest women in the 
city, to be running after angels? 'tis scandalous, 'tis — 
[aside] I'm in a cursed awkward position here, and 
the sooner I get away the better. — But I'll attack him 
at once; I'll lecture him; I'll hector him; and he must 
reform his conduct, or no longer call me his friend. 

[crosses to r. h. 

Mrs. Brom. You are right, my love, for, as it is, 
the man is no company for you. 

Brom. No, I've done with him: I've no pity for a 
man who goes astray — and wants address to guard 
against detection, [aside.] [Exit, r. h. 

Mrs, Brom. I doubt his success: Mr. Simpson, I 
fear, is a hardened sinner. Besides, he knows too well 
the purity of my Charles's principles, to confess his error 
to him. 

Enter a Servant, l. h. 

Servant. Mrs. Fitzallan, ma'am. 
Mrs, Brom, Mrs. Fitzallan? I'm not acquainted 
with the woman, [looking out] Ah ! 'tis Marianne. 
[Exit Servant, l. h. after Mrs. Fitzallan enters. 

Enter Mrs. Fitzallan, l. h. 

My dear Marianne, my earliest friefnd, how delighted 
I am to meet you again. 

Mrs. Fitz. After a separation of five years at length 
we meet. How often have I thought on my old school- 
friend. I have a thousand things to ask, a thousand 
thinf^s to say to you. 

Mrs. Brom, But, before I answer you a single ques- 
tion, you must tell me all that has happened to you 
since you left England, [they sit,'] 



SIMPSON & CO. SI 

Mrs. Fit z. Ah, my dear! My history, though slnrt, 
IS a sad one. You heard of my going to India; there I 
married General Fitzallan, and within two years after 
our marriage [weeps.l 

Mrs. Brom. How! already a widow! 

Mrs. Fitz. Too true, [sighing. 1 

Mrs. Brom, Come, come, love. This is the day of 
our re-union, and I shall insist on your being very gay. 

Mrs. Fitz, Well, well. And you, too, are married ? 

Mrs. Brom. Yes, sure, I am settled down in Minc- 
ing Lane, in the midst of invoices, legers, and bills of 
ladine;. 

Mrs. Fitz. And your husband ? Come, tell me all 
about him. Is he an old stumpy little man in a gray 
coat and a brown wig ? or young and handsome, and 
like the beings at th3 other side of Temple-bar? and is 
he kind and attentive to you ? And are you happy to- 
gether ? 

Mrs. Brom. That, indeed, we are, but you will see. 
him presently, and I will answer for it, you will be de- 
lighted with him. If he has a fault, it is, that his fond- 
ness of me renders him almost ill-bred in his behaviour 
to every other woman. 

Mrs. Fitz. Don't attempt to correct him : 'tis an un- 
common fault with husbands. 

Mrs. Brom. That's true: few men are like Bromley. 
\looking cautiously around] Now, there is my hus- 
band's partner, Mr. Simpson — Peter Simpson — a pretty 
name for a gay deceiver. 

Mrs. Fitz. That name is familiar to me. Oh ! I re- 
member. I received some acceptances of his, in paj^- 
ment, from my poor husband's executor. 

Mrs. Brom, Well, only conceive — his wife, poor 
'thing 

Mrs. Fitz. Does he neglect her ? 

Mrs. Brom. He's a wretch ! We have the most posi- 
tive proof against him. I do all I can to console poor 
Susan, but what can avail in such a case! 

Mrs* Fi!^. Oh! these men, these men! And the in- 



32 SIMPSON & CO. 

conceivable effrontery of some of them! What think 
you, for instance, of a man I never saw before in my 
life: one Captain — Captain — Captain Walsingham,vvho, 
without any sort of introduction, twice presents him- 
self at my house, under pretence of settling some busi- 
ness for me at the India-house. 

Mrs. Brom, Is it possible! and how did you receive 
him? 

Mrs, Fitz. As his insolence deserved, of course, and 
for some time I heard no more of him. But, within 
these few days, he has dared to write to me. His first 
letter I returned to him unanswered, but he so pesters 
me with his epistles, that 1 find it less trouble to burn 
them unopened. Then I can scarcely stir from home 
but he follows my carriage, and, in short, his importu- 
nities are become so irksome, that I am half determined 
to apply to the magistrates. [Mr, and Mrs. Simpson 
are heard squabbling, r. h.] 

Mrs. Brom, Hush! here come the unhappy pair. 
[Mey ivalk up the stage.'\ 

Enter Simpson and Mrs. Simpson, r. h. 

Simp, [speaks on entering] Oh, with all my heart! 
separate maintainance, or no maintainance at all, if you 
prefer it, so you will but cease to torment me. 

Mrs. Simp, I 'm not the woman, Mr. Simpjion, to bear 
such wrongs tamely; I have relations and— 

Mrs. Brom, [coming hastily forward] For heaven's 
sake, here's a visitor — I must present to you a dear friend 
of mine — Mrs, Fitzallan. [Mrs. Fitzallan comes for- 
ward, R. H.] 

Sim-p. [bowing] Any friend of Mrs. Bromley's 

Madam, your servant. 

Mrs, Simp. I am delighted, ma'am, to [looking 

steadfastly at Mrs. Fitzallan, she says to Mrs. B^^om- 
ley] Oh! support me, my dear, I'm fainting. [Mrs. 
Bromley places a chair, hastily, which M7's. Simp- 
son sinks upon. ] 

Mrs, Brom, What is the matter ? 



SIMPSON & CO. 3j5 

Simp, [takmg her hand, which she hastily with- 
draws] What ails you, my duck? 

Mrs. Fitz, The lady is very pale. 

Mrs, Simp, [repulsing her] ^Tis nothing, madam; 
[starts up] 'tis past; it was merely the surprise. There 
are persons [half directed to Simpson] who can sup- 
port a surprise without the slightest change of coun- 
tenance. Mr. Simpson, I dare say, is of my opinion. 

Mrs. Brom. I perceive nothing very surprising, my 
dear, in a simple introduction to an old friend of mine. 

Mrs* Simp. The lady is not altogether unknown to 
me, nor to Mr. Simpson neither. 

Simp. To me! I don't recollect ever having had the 
honour of seeing the lady before. 

Mrs Fitz. I go but little into society, ma'am; may I 
inquire where you 

Mrs. Simp. This gentleman is more competent to an- 
swer the question than myself, madam. 

Mrs. Brom. [aside] What can she mean ? 

Simp, [in an under tone, and with suppressed 
anger] Madam, let me advise you, for your own sake, 
not to expose your folly to a stranger, [aside] I wonder 
she has not attacked fat Betty, the cook, or old Sally, 
the housemaid. 

Mrs. Simp, [to Mrs. Fitzallan] Pray, madam, did 
you never sit for your portrait? 

Mrs* Fitz, [laughing] I now perceive the occasion 
of your surprise. No doubt, you saw my portrait in 
the Exhibition; and the likeness, which was, indeed, 
allowed to be perfect, has led you to imagine — Ha! ha! 
ha! and my black velvet dress — did you remark how 
finely that was painted ? 

Mrs, Simp, [aside] Black velvet! 'tis that — there's 
no longer a doubt. I am perfectly well acquainted with 
the miniature, madam, but it was not at the Exhibition 
I saw it. 

Mrs. Fitz. A miniature? you mistake, a full length 
picture. 

Mrs, Brom. [aside] Can her jealousy so have blinded 



34 SIMPSON & CO. 

her. {aloud, and laughing'] I begin to uiKlerstand the 
meaning of this, but, take my word for it, my dear, you 
were never so mistaken in your life. 

Mrs. Fitz. [aside] Good heavens! Can I be the cause 
of any disagreement here ? [walks up the stage.] 

Simp. Well, ladies, to me, all this is a riddle; I have 
lived in a riddle this whole day. As I never was very 
apt at guessing riddles, I shall quietly leave to time the 
task of expounding this. 

Enter Bromley, r. h. 

Brom. Well, love, 'tis near dinner time; are you sure 
your friend Marianne will come ? 

Mrs, Brom. [pointing to Mrs. Fitzallan^ whose back 
is turned from Bromley] She is here, Charles. 

Mrs. Brom. Marianne, I must present my husband 
to you Mr. Bromley. 

Mrs, Fitz, This gentleman ! Mr. Bromley ? [Mrs. 
Fitzallan and Bromley, on encountering each other'' s 
looks, are both struck with the utmost confusion and 
surprise. Mrs. Bromley'' s attention is withdrawn 
from them for the moment, by her seeming to in- 
terfere between Mr, and Mrs. Simpson, who are a 
little up the stage, l. h., as if trying to co?iciliate 
them.] 

Brom, [overwhelmed with confusion, yet pointedly 

and rapidly] Is the husband of your friend, madam 

[aside] I wish I was up to my neck in a horse-pond I 

Mrs. Fitz. I congratulate you sincerely, sir, on your 
choice. We were just speaking of you; Mrs. Brom- 
ley has emphatically eulogised your undivided atten- 
tion to her, and no one is more desirous than myself 
to believe, that you fully merit her confidence. 

Brom. [greatly e7nbarrassed] 0, madam! when the 
heart — when a wife — when a husband, whose constancy, 
whose fidelity — a virtue never departed from with im- 
punity [aside] I'm dished! 

Mrs, Simp, [to Simpson] Do you hear that, base- 
man ? 



SIMPSON k CO. 35 

Simp. Yes, I hear, though I understand nothing about 
It. However, I am determined to be silent, and we 
shall see which of us will be tired soonest. 

Mrs. Brom, [to Bromlet/, and pointing towards 
Simpsoii] You are too severe, my love; be compas- 
sionate — a little indulgence — \to Mrs. Fitzallan] am 
I not right ? 

Brom. A little indulgence; aye, aye, gi little — we all 
have need of it; besides, at an age, when the passions, 
and when — after all, these are greater sinners than we! 
Eh, Simpson.'' 

Simp, [aside'^ It seems as if Bromley's turn had come. 
Well, turn and turn about: — My wife and I have need 
of a little rest, that's certain. 

Brom. And when one considers the weakness, the— 
the less I say the better. 

Mrs. Fitz. That, sir, is exactly my opinion. 
Mrs. Brom. I am glad, Charles, to find you so weak 
an advocate in so bad a cause. 

Mrs. Fitz. To put an end to a conversation which 
must be exceedingly embarrassing to a certain person of 
the party, pray, tell me, Mr. Bromley, whether you 
happen to be acquainted with one Captain Walsingham? 
Brom. [to her] The cruel little devil! [aside] Yes, 
ma'am; I'm not quite — yes, yes, I knew him, ma'am; 
that is, ma'am, I knew him formerly. 

Mrs. Brom. [aside] I regret that Charles was unac- 
quainted with so disreputable a person. 

Mrs. Fitz. Do tell me what is his character, Mr. 
Bromley. 

[During this, Mrs. Simpson has seated herself in 
a sullen mood, up the stage a little. Simpson 
approaches, taking another chair on her l. h. 
She turns her chair from him in a huff; he does 
the same, and they sit back to back.] 
Brom. His character ? 0, he's a — a sort of a — a 
perfect man of honour, I assure you, ma'am. 

Mrs, Fitz. No doubt; he seems, too, to be a devoted 
slave of the ladies. 



36 SIMPSON & CO. 

Mrs. Brom. Pray, Charles, present my respects to 
your Captain Walsingham. Mrs. Fitzallan has related 
to me a little anecdote concerning him, which places 
him very high in my esteem. 

Brom. What then, you know [aside'} Can she 

have told! 

Mrs. Fitz, Do you know, Mr. Bromley, whether he 
still maintains his influence at the India-house ? 

Brom. [pointedly'] No, ma'am; he's now an ex- 
director; has abandoned all intentions of further inter- 
ference in that quarter. — How shall I get out of this? — 
Here, William — a — is dinner ready ? 

Enter a Servant, r. h. 

Ser. Dinner, sir, won't be ready this half-hour. [Exit. 

Brom, Very w^ell. [aside^ John deserves a guinea 
for interrupting the conversation. 

Simp, [gaily'] Come, Bromley, go and order a bot- 
tle of champagne in honour of our fair guest; that will 
set us all in good humour; and before the third glass 
has gone round, I warrant it, we shall all have come 
to a right understanding. Ha! ha! ha! 

Mrs. Brom. 0, let the butler look to the wine; and 
you, Charles, show Marianne our collection of pic- 
tures — I'll follow in a moment. 

Brom. [aside] How I'm to escape, heaven knows! 
Your arm, madam. 

[Exeunt Bromley and Mrs. Fitzallan, r. h., with 
some hesitation on both sides. Simpson offers 
his arm to Mrs. Simpson; she rejects it, and 
follows the others, with Mrs. Bromley J] 

Mrs. Brom. [to Simpson as he is going off] Mr. 
Simpson, a word. Considering your situation, your 
boisterous gaiety, to say the best of it, is ill-judged. 

Mrs, Simp, Mr. Simpson, your braving it out in this 
manner is, positively, indecent. 
[Exit Mrs. Bromley, who also rejects his arm, r. h. 

Simp. Vastly well; let them say what they will, I'm 
determined not to open my mouth till dinner's ready. 

[Exit, R. H. 



SIMPSON & CO. sr 

Scene II. 
•f Draioing'Room, with pictures — 4 chairs. 

Enter Mrs. Fitzaxlan, r. h. 

Mrs. Fitz. Poor Mr. Bromley; he lias some modesty, 
however, and couldn't bear a moment of examination. 

Enter Mrs. Bromley, r. h. 

Mrs. Bro7ii. What, has Bromley left you already ? 
how rude! 

Mrs. Fitz. Rude! — I think the folks are all rather 
singular; he saw^ me at the door, hovved and left me. 
Then, really, my dear, Mrs. Simpson's behaviour to 
me is very extraordinary: she does not only avail her- 
self of my presence to torment her husband, but I am 
evidently the object of all her sarcasms and inuendos. 

Mrs. Bro7n. Did you ever happen to see Mr. Simp- 
son before ? 

Mi'S. Fitz, No; never. 

Mrs. Brom, How comes it then that he possesses 
your portrait 

Mrs. Fitz. My portrait ? 

Mrs. Brora. Which he keeps concealed in his pocket- 
book? 

Mrs. Fitz. Nonsense: impossible. 

Mrs. Brorn. I assure you, Marianne, he has it; and 
the resen)blance is, in all respects, so perfect, that it 
cannot be attributed to chance. 

Mrs. Fitz. The profligate monster! But to what 
base end can he have procured it ? and by what means ? 

Mrs. Brom. 'Tis difficult to tell. JPerhaps, unob- 
served by youj, he may have seen you somewhere or 



58 SIMPSON k CO. 

other, and becoming enamoured of you, contrived to 
procure a copy of your picture at the exhibition. 

Mrs. Fitz. [aside] I rather suspect My dear, 

are you sure, are you quite sure, that Mr. Simpson is 
the person capable of 

Mrs. Brorn. Capable! After the discoveries we have 
made to-day, Pm convinced he is capable of any thing. 

Mrs. Fitz. \ciside\ One partner torments me v^^illi 
letters, the other puiloins my portrait — am I fated to 
turn the heads of the whole firm of Simpson & Co. ? 

Mrs. Br 0771. Here he comes, expecting, no doubt, 
to find you alone, and prepared with a formal declara- 
tion, [they walk up the stage. 



Enter Simpsox, r. h. 

[The ladies come forward on each side of Simpson.'] 

Simp, My Mrs. S. seems inclined to open a fresh 
account, but as we have had sufficient dealings in the 

article of bickering for one day, I leave her to Ah! 

Mrs. Fitzalian, your humble and Mrs. Bromley, 

too 1 hope I am not an interruption. 

Mrs. Brom. On the contrary, sir, this lady and my- 
self desire an opportunity of gently and quietly remon- 
strating with you. Mr. Simpson, your conduct is most 
atrocious. 

Mrs. Fitz, 'Tis barbarous! 'tis ungentlemanly, 'tis 
unmanly. 

Simp. Madam, if ever I 

Mrs. Brom. What excuse have you for endangering, 
as you have done, the reputation of a respectable wo- 
man? 

Si7np. [in anger'] I vow and declare, that since tlie 
day I was born 

Mrs. Fitz. Will you be so obliging, sir, as to an- 
swer, distinctly, the questions I shall put to you } 

Simp. So! a regular examination! Speak, ladies; 



SIMPSON & CO. 39 

state your charges: I shall not employ counsel, but 
plead my own cause. 

Mrs. Fitz. Then, sir, I must insist on your answer- 
ing me seriously and without equivocation. Till this 
day did you ever see me before? 

Si77ip. Seriously, and without equivocation, I never 
did. 

M7'S. Fitz. Has any person — any one who may take 
an interest in me, made you the depositary of his secret? 

Shnp. Madam, I assure you, till this day, I never 
had the pleasure, either of seeing you, or that of hear- 
ing you spoken of. 

Mrs. Filz. Enough. Now, sir, as a man of honour, 
you cannot refuse to relinquish my portrait, your pos- 
session of which is, at once, offensive and injurious to 
me. 

Simp. Your portrait! your portrait, ma'am! [a^/flTe] 
Oh, hang it, I see now they are quizzing me, [crosses 
to R. H.] for my wife's jealousy. Mrs. Bromley first 
began running the joke against me to-day, as a hen- 
pecked husband; and now she has got Mrs. Fitzallaa 
to join her. 

Mrs. Brom. [to Mrs. Fitzallari] He hesitates. 

Mrs. Fitz. Am I to be honoured with your answer, 
sir? 

Simp, [aside] 'Gad, I'll have a hoax as well as they, 
and turn the tables on 'em. Well, madam, [to Mrs. 
Fitzallan] I have as truly got your portrait as you 
have got 

Mrs. Brow., [hastily taking him up] At length, 
then, you confess; that is the first step towards repent- 
ance. Your wife is an excellent woman; repent, Mr, 
Simpson, and I trust she will pardon you. 

Enter Mrs. Simpson, r. h. 

Come, come, my love, let me be peace-maker. Mr. 
Simpson has confessed bis errors, and p.^omi seisin cere 
repentance, and you mucf fortrive him. 



40 SIMPSON & eo. 

Mrs. Simp. And what have you to say for yourselij 
Mr. Simpson? 

Simp. What have I to say for myself ? I have merely 
said that as truly as I have that lady's portrait, she has 
mine. 

Mrs, Fiiz. Sir. 

Simp. Yes, my little full length — in a pepper and 
salt coat, striped waistcoat, and drab-coloured small- 
clothe.', and continuations. 

Mrs. Fitz, [to Airs. Bromley'] My dear, the man's 
mad! 

Si7?ip. As to the letters you say have passed be- 
lv>^een us — 

Mrs. Fitz. [iviih dignity'] This is too much. I 
should be forgetting the respect I owe myself, were I 
tg remain another moment here. 

Mrs. Brom. [taking her hand] For my sake, Ma- 
rianne — yet an instant — 

Si7?ip. [laughing aloud.] 

Enter Bromley, r. h. 

Xow Charles, follow my example, and confess — 'tis 
your only hope. 

Brom. [alarmed] Confess!!! What! 

Simp. Confession and repentance are the order of the 
-lay. Acknowledge, that, but for your example, I 
never should have gone astray. 

Brom. [aside] Am I detected too, then! 

Simp, Acknowledge that your wicked counsels first 
perverted my innocent heart; that you are account- 
able for all my peccadilloes, as you call them, 

Brom. [agitated] Each for himself, sir, if you please. 

Mrs. Brom, Fie on you, Mr. Simpson. First ca- 
lumniate my friend, and next accuse my unoffending 
husband! Shame, shame, Mr. Simpson. 

Mrs. Simp. Your attempts at an evasion will avail 



SIMPSON & CO. 41 

you nothing: it is not with Mr. Bromley, but with you, 
sir 

Simp. 'Tis all one: we are partners; and our plea- 
sures and our plagues ought to be in common. — {ob- 
serving the serious countenances of the others.'] Lord 
help me! should they be in earnest after all! 

Enter a Servant, l. h. [who lohispers Mrs, 
Bromley,] 

Mrs. Brom. Instantly— [/o Mrs. TilzaUan'] A good 
opportunity to humiliate Mr. Simpson. I have been 
sitting for my miniature unknown to Charles — the 
painter has just sent it; I'll take this occasion of pre- 
senting it to him. Do but w^ait my return, and thi5 
affair shall be explained to your salisfaction. — \to Simp- 
son'] Ah! Mr. Simpson! I never thought you capable 
of such doings. \_Exit l. h. 

Brom. Was it your intention to insult me, Mr. 
Simpson, by your ridiculous accusations } 

Simp. Sir, I 

Mi's. Fitz. Is it your pleasure, Mr. Simpson, to sur- 
render \mysteriously] the object in question? 

Simp, Madam, madam, I assure you 

Mrs. Simp. ^Tis a clear case, Mr. Simpson: I shall 
now leave the affair with my relatives. 

Simp. 'Tis a clear case tiiere is a plot among you te 
drive me wild, and 

Enter Foster, l. it. 

Well, Foster, what now ? {crosses to him, l. h.] 

Fos. Mr. Tradely, sir, has called to receive back his 
securities. 

Sifnp. Mr. Bromley has them. 

Brom. I left them with you when I went out this 
morning. 

Simp. True.— '{takes out Bromley's pocket-book — 
Mrs. Simpson beholds it with looks of rage'] Here 



42 SIMPSON & CO. 

they are, Foster; take a receipt for them. Here, Brom- 
ley, take your pocket-book. [Exit Foster, l. h. 

Mrs. Simp, [jmaiches it from hirri\ His pocket- 
book ? Bromley's ? 

Simp. Yes: and what then? 

Mrs. Simp. Really, the book is not yours ? 

Simp. And what if it were! but 'tis Bromley's, I tell 
you. 

Mrs. Simp, [riuiniiig into his arms, and embrac- 
ing him7\ My dear, dear, dear little husband: this is 
the happiest moment of my life. 

Mrs. Fitz. [aside] 'Tis as I suspected. 

Simp. Then you were but jesting with me after all. 

Mrs. Si?np. [to Mrs. Fitzal/an] Oh, ma'am, I scarce- 
ly know how to apologise to you, but the circumstances, 

1 trust, will be sufficient to [running again to 

Simpson'] My poor, poor, dear, injured little Simpson. 

Simp, Zounds, but this is as much a puzzle to me 
as t'other. 

Brom. [aside] I perceive the mistake, and 'tis all 
over with me. 

Mrs, Fitz. [aside] Poor Mrs. Bromley! 

Mrs. Simp. And can you pardon me all the torments 
I have inflicted on you ? 

Simp. Wh}^, you have laid it on pretty thick, my 
dear, that's certain: but what has all this been about ? 

Mrs. Simp, [returns t/te pocket-hook to Bromley^ 
Just let me return Mr. Bromley his property. 'Tis 
an elegant little book, indeed. I commend your taste, 
sir. 

Brom, [embarrassed] 0, ma'am, 'tis nothing — 'lis 
simple — extremely simple. 

Mrs. Simp. Certainly, it requires a careful examina- 
tion to discover all the beauties it contains. 

Mrs. Fitz. [seve?^e/i/, and with emphasis] Mr. Brom- 
ley has been at unwarrantable pains in procuring its or- 
naments. 

Simp. Well, there's no accounting for tastes; but it 



SIMPSON & CO. 43 

seems to me that there is nothing very extraordinary 
in a red morocco case with a gold clasp. 

Mrs, Simp. My love, we must not always judge by 
the exterior. 

Simp, [mocking /ier'\ By the exterior! Are they 
beginning tiieir riddles again ? 

Brom, Alas! my dear friend, to me it is none; I 
comprehend it but too well.-— [/o Mrs, Fitzallan'] But 
io you, madam, how shall I address myself? In what 
lerms implore your pardon? I confess that, unknown 
to you, 1 dared to procure a copy of your portrait, and 
my indiscretion 

Mrs. Filz. [as she takes the book from him, which 
he presents'] The offence, Mr. Bromley, might war- 
rant a harsher term. 

Simp. Ha ! a thought strikes me. Allow me, ma'am, 
to ask whether or not you reside in Hailey street? 

[crosses to Mrs. Fitzallan. 

Mrs. Fitz. I do, sir. 

Simp. Mahogany door, gorgon's-head knocker, five 
steps, lamp, w^ith reflectors, and sixty-four spikes in the 
iron railing. 

Mrs. Fitz. You have been very minute, sir, in your 
observations. 

Sijnp, I had plenty of time to take an exact account, 
I assure you, I having twice enjoyed the honour, 
madam, of standing sentry at your door waiting for 
this gentleman, and shivering in the wind, like the top- 
sails in the sea song. — [crosses to Bromley — to Brom- 
ley, half angry'] And am I, for ever, sir, to be the vic- 
tim of your irre2:ularities? 'Twas the same thing at 
school, ladies. If an orchard w^as robbed, suspicion 
was sure to light on me; and while Mr. Innocence, 
there, was quietly devouring the fruit, I was receiving 
the punishment. 

Mrs. Simp, [taking his hand] My poor Simpson! 

Mrs. Fitz. [to Bromley] So far as your indiscretion 
affects me, sir, I pardon you; deeply as it might have 



44 SIMPSON & CO. 

injured me in the opinion of this lady; but, unfortu- 
nately for you, it remains 

Brom. Do not overwhelm me with the anger — the 
contempt which my conduct merits. Your beauty was 
the light that dazzled and misled me, yet believe me — 

Simp. Say no more, Bromley. You may believe 
him, ma^am; and I can assure you that there is not in 
London a more affectionate husband, [half aside] not- 
withstanding his aptness to be dazzled, as he calls it, 
by stray lights. 

Mrs. Simp, But what can we say to poor Mrs. Brom- 
ley ? 

Brom, I will avow all to her; the only expiation in 
the power of an offending husband, is the confession of 
his error. — Pleavens, she comes! 



Enter Mrs. Bromley, l. h. 

Mrs. Brom. Well, Mr. Simpson, do you still refuse 
to confess ? 

Simp, Ah! ma'am; matters have taken a strange 
turn since you quitted the room. 

Brom. Ah, my Anna, you are far from suspecting 
who is the real offender: it is 

Mrs. Fitz. {eagerly] It is Captain Walsingham. 

Mrs. Brom. [with astonishment] Captain Walsing- 
ham! 

Brom. [aside] A woman for ever for helping one out 
of a scrape ! 

Mrs Fitz. Yes, the person I mentioned to you this 
moi-ning. It is for him the portrait was copied. 

Simp. And thus it is that innocent people are often 
made to suffer for the offences of such wicked wights. 
As for that Captain Walsingham, with whom Bromley 
and I are very well acquainted — I have a little account 
with him, which shall be settled in private. He shall 
not have it to say that I quietly took charge of this 



SIMPSON & CO. 45 

day's cargo of plao;ues and torments, which ought to 
have been consigned to him. 

Mrs. Brom. But, how came it when he was mentioned 
this morning that you remained silent? 

Simp. To say the truth, I am not so proud of his ac- 
quaintance as to boast of it. A married man who is so 
easily '^dazzled by stray lights/^ is not exactly the 
person to associate with — Eh, Bromley ? 

Mrs. Brom. [io Mrs. FitzaUan'] But, by what means 
did the portrait 

Mr St Fitz, [mysteriously J and in an under tone'] 
Hush ! 

Mrs. Brom. Aye — I understand, [aside'] That poofj 
dear Mrs. Simpson! they make her believe just what 
they please! 

Mrs. Simp, [aside] That dear, sjood Mrs. Bromley- 
did she but know — [all go up the stage, except Mr* 
and Mrs. Bromley.] 

Mrs. Brom. And, now, Charles, I have a little sur- 
prise for you. Unknown to you I have sat for my 
portrait; accept it as the token of my confidence in your 
affection and fidelity: it may serve as a little lesson to 
Mr. Simpson. 

Brom. [deeply affected] Your portrait! — Never, 
never, shall it quit me. [aside] And, she's unconscious. 
O, Anna, the reproaches of an offended woman are soon 
forgotten; her sweetness, her unsuspecting love, which, 
alone, can reclaim a wandering«heart, are remembered 
for ever. [Mrs. Bromley joins the other two ladies.] 

Simp, [taking Bromley io the front of the stage] 
Bromley, that present comes just in time — there's a 
vacant place in the pocket-book. 

Brom. A little indulgence 

Simp. You must ask it at other hands than mine. 
[brings Brotnley forward J looking caiitiously, at the 
same ti?7ie, at the other characters.] Ladies and gen- 
tlemen, no doubt, you have detected some little defi- 
ciencies in my partners private accounts — the firm is 



46 



jIMPSON & CO. 



responsible to you — we are now winding up matters 
with you for the evening — we have done our best to 
answer your claims for amusement, in full — if the ba- 
lance appears against us, pray grant a little indulgence 
to the firm of Simpson & Co. 

[thei/ retii'e back to the ladies. 



END OP SIMPSON & CO. 



Disposition 0/ characters when the curtain /alls. 




R. H. 



CURTAIN. 



L. H. 



THE 

TURNPIKE GATE. 

SWEETHEARTS AND WIVES. 

V WOMAN NEVER VEXT. 

SIMPSON k CO. 



r'AREFULLY CORRECTED FROM THE PROMPT BOOKS, 



VOL. XXX. 



FHILJDELPHM.' 

PVBtTSHED BY V. C. WEMTSS, AKD ASH & MASOX: P. THOMPSON, 

WASUfNGTON: H. W. BOOL, BALTIMORE: E. M. MUnDEN, AXD 1, 

GODM, NEW TORK, FOB THE PROPRIETOR, AND TO BE 

HAD OF ALL THE PRINCIPAL BOOKSELLERS ll* 

THE UNITED STATES. 

1827 



tiir%f. 



As a mimber of our subscribers are desirous of knowing what 
characteristic engravings will be attached to those plays prepared for 
publication, we subjoin the following- list for their information : 

School for Scandal, • Mr. Warren as Sir Peter Teazle,- 

Every One has his Fault, Mr. Jefferson as Solus, 

Der Freyschutz, Mrs. Burke as Bertha. 
New Way to Pay Old Debts, Mrs. Hilson as Margaret. 

Hypocrite, Mr. Foote as Dr. CantwelL 

Richard the Third, Mr. Kean as Richard. 

Lovers Vows, Mrs. Darley as Amelia' 

Hamlet, Mrs. Cowell as Ophelia. 

Iron Chest, Mr. Lee as Wilford. 

Tom and Jerry, Mr. Roberts as Bob Logic. 

High Life below Stairs, Mr. Thayer as My Lord Duke. 

Forty Thieves, Mrs. Waring as Morgiana. 

Pizarro, Mr. Forest as Rolla, 

Brutus, Mr. Booth as Brutus. 

Macbeth, Mr. Macready as Macbeth. 

These portraits are nearly all finished, and exertions wiH be 
used to procure the following, as soon as possible. 

Mr. Cooper, Mr. Simpson, Mr. and Mrs. Barrett, Mrs. Entwisle, 
Mrs. Gilfert, Mr. and Mrs. Wallack, Mrs. Wood, Mrs. Anderson, 
Mr. Finn, Mr. Kilner, Mrs. Powell, &c. kc. 



As an impression has gone abroad, that the Plays printed in this 
Work are so mutilated as to destroy the Authors' meaning, the 
Proprietors take this opportunity of assuring the public, that all 
the old plays will be printed from books marked as Garrick and 
Kemble had them represented; the new ones, as they are repre? 
,sented at Drury Lane and Covent Garden. 



In consequence of complaints, that in binding, the margin cuts 
too closely, the Numbers will not, in future, be trimmed in tbs 
pamphlet 




LIBRPRY OF CONGRESS 




014 528 288 3 



Acting American Theatre already published. 

No. 1. Wild Oats, containing a Portrait of Mr. FaAscis. 

2. Much Ado About NoxniJfo, Miss Kbllt. 

3. Superstition, '^ Mrs. Duff. 

4. Old Maid, Mrs. Francis. 

5. Marmioit, Mr. Duff. 

6. HoiTET MooK, Mr. Wemtss. 

7. Isabella. Mrs. Barnes. 

8. School of Reform, Mr. Hilsow. 

9. Turnpike Gate. Mr. Co well. 

10. Sweethearts and Wites.^ Mr. Barnes. 

11. Woman Never Vext. Mr. Wood. 

12. Simpson 8c Co. - Mr. Burke. 



No. XIII, 

Will contain a Likeness of Mr. E. Forrest, as Rolla. 



The Portraits of Mr. Jefferson, Mr. Warren, £|pd Mrs. Hilson, 
are in the hands of the engravers. 



,8uthonsed by the State of Pennsylvania or by Congress, 



MAY CE PURCHASED AT 



l^EMYSS 



LOTTERY OPPIOS, 
49 SOUTH THIRD STREET. 

Clubs dealt with on tlie most reasonable terms, and orders from 
the country promptly attended to. 



